


Of a Foreigner's God

by OfLoveandLilacs



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson
Genre: (not with Simon), AU, Abusive Relationships, Artist!Raphael, Author is obsessed, Bars, Books, Bookstores, Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Hurt Raphael, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Sex, More Raphael-centric, Photographer!Raphael, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Raphael needs a hug, Raphael will seem super OOC but I promise I make it better, Recovery, Simon needs a hug, Simon's band, Swearing, Tags will be updated, everyone is human, i have a plan, just trust me, lots and lots of Hozier songs, louis is an asshole, musician!Simon, some religious themes, sort of, switching POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:33:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfLoveandLilacs/pseuds/OfLoveandLilacs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael has always believed in miracles, even when he thought the Lord had given up on him. He has seen and heard about miracles his whole life, though he never imagined that he would live to experience one of his own. And he certainly never expected his miracle to come in the form of a guitarist with a hard-on for Star Wars. Raphael thus begins his journey of recovery, and piecing his life back together, all the while learning that it is okay to have a little wind to help you sail. And maybe, just maybe, he will come to find what love really means.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of a Foreigner's God

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! This is my first Saphael fanfic so I hope you enjoy it. The title is taken from Hozier's Foreigner's God (it's really good; 11/10 would recommend). Most of the songs that Simon "writes" are taken from Hozier... whoops... But considering this story is half inspired by most of his songs, it seems appropriate! 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
> In this first chapter there are warnings for swearing, harsh words (no real physical violence just yet), and an abusive relationship being established from the get-go. Please read the tags for further warnings. The tags will also be updated as the story unfolds. 
> 
> Please feel free to drop a kudo or a comment. I would love to hear what you think!  
> Also they just make my day a little brighter  
> Enjoy! 
> 
> ~OL&L~
> 
> *Note*  
> All rights to Cassandra Clare for characters and Hozier for songs. Only things that are mine are the character I made up and the plot.

Raphael had a problem. It was not a serious problem, or one of his worst flaws, but still a problem nonetheless. His problem was that whenever he made his cup of tea and sat down with a book, he simply lost track of time. He became completely absorbed with whatever he was reading, and time became an essence of thought. His problem stemmed from his childhood. Growing up, his mother couldn't afford to pay for a television, so Raphael had to entertain himself with books. He remembered the countless of times his mother would call for dinner, and Raphael would have sworn it was only one in the afternoon.

Nevertheless, the point being, Raphael completely lost track of time. And on a very, very bad day to do so. The door slammed shut, jarring Raphael from the alluring pages. He clutched the book a little tighter than necessary, surveying the area- and what he could see of the kitchen- around him. Everything, to him at least, seemed to be clean and orderly. Not a speck of dust in sight. The spotted gray pillows on the chairs and sofa had been fluffed. The coffee-table was an appropriate foot and a half away from the sofa, as Louis liked it to be. Raphael thought the footrest for the big white chair in the corner of the room was a smidgen too close to said chair, but perhaps Louis wouldn't take note of it. Judging by the door slam, Louis would hardly noticed the state of the apartment.

There was no stomping, however, so Raphael figured he couldn't be that worked up over something. Perhaps a co-worker irritated him? Working at a large corporation, like the one Louis worked at, was stressful. Raphael knew this, and always tried to make things at home easier for him, though he efforts rarely got even half a thought's worth of notice. Still, he tried. The mental checklist was already forming in his head. He cleaned. He got groceries. He even bought new flowers to liven up the place a little. So there was nothing really wrong here... except... The clock chimed 6 o'clock, and Raphael's heart sank into his stomach. It was 6 o'clock, and he had absolutely nothing prepared for dinner. Maybe he could make something really quick. Maybe he could convince Louis to shower and make him something then? His thoughts were racing, trying to come up to a solution to his new problem. He was about to get up to head into the kitchen, when large hands came down on his shoulders, causing Raphael to jump. The book fumbled in his hands and landed on his lap.

"What? No greeting at the door?" Louis chuckled lightly, his thumbs massaging gently into his shoulders, which felt nice. "You're so tense baby. Something wrong?" There was a weird tone to his voice, but Raphael brushed it off as being tired.

"Hm? No. Nothing's wrong. How was work?," he work as he leaned into Louis touch. It was lovely when Louis was gentle like this. Raphael lived for these moments.

"Work was work. Same idiots that run the place that don't know what they're doing," his breath tickled Raphael's ear.

"The real question is, is that what you're wearing tonight? I want to show off my beautiful boyfriend, not my sleazy. homeless looking boyfriend." He was referring to the sweats that he hadn't bothered to change out of. Ouch.

"Tonight?" Raphael questioned with a raised eyebrow. What the hell were they doing tonight? Louis hands ceased their ministrations on his shoulders, and instead began to grip rather tightly.

"I told you this morning we were going out," he said in a clipped tone. Raphael thought back to earlier in bed and ah.

_Raphael blinked against the sun streaming in though the window. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in the comforter and fall back asleep, but he knew he needed to be awake. He was always the first one awake. Always. So he laid still, and sure enough, ten minutes later, Louis was wrapping his arms around his waist._

_"You awake?" he asked._

_"Yes."_

_"Good. We're going out tonight. Look hot."  He hadn't said where or why. Just simply got up and hauled him to the shower for a morning quickie before work. Raphael's eyes still stung from the shampoo falling into them._

"Oh, um, right. Of course," he tried to recover, but the damage was done. The grip on his shoulders became impossibly tighter, and Raphael fought the urge to squirm away from the touch, for he knew it would only make the situation worse.

"You got caught up in your fucking book again didn't you?" Without waiting for a response, he continued, "Dammit Raphael! How many times do I have to say it before you get it into your thick skull that you have to be more aware. I don't give a shit how great the fucking book is! Pay. More. Attention. To. The. Time!" His voice had gone from calm to shouting in a matter of seconds, and Raphael wanted to cower. He needed to find a way to make this right.

"I- I'm sorry. I just- I forgot. I'll- I'll go get ready now," he managed to stammer out.

"Yea, you best go get fucking ready so our night isn't completely fucking ruined by your incompetence," he scoffed as he said it, releasing his iron grip. Raphael immediately took the opportunity and scurried to the bedroom to change. His only hope was that wherever they were going, it would put Louis in a better mood, for everyone’s sake.

He was in the middle of looping his belt through his jeans, arms snaked around his waist, stopping his process. Lips descended  on his neck and kissed lightly. It was always like after they've had a fight- or rather- when he yelled at Raphael. Soft words and even softer touches to eradicate the harsh words and stinging blows. 

" 'm sorry baby, but you know how frustrated I get when you lose time like that." It was true. Raphael did know, and he knew quite well just how frustrated he got with it. 

"I know. I apologize. I'll do better," he promised as Louis lips traveled down his throat. He felt him smile against his pulse. 

"That's good to hear. Finish getting ready and meet me at the car." With that, he slapped his ass- which certainly was not a love pat- a walked from the room, leaving Raphael to hurriedly finish with his belt and slip on a simple white v-neck over his head. He grabbed his favorite black leather jacket from the rack, along with his combat boots, and rushed out the door, hoping by the grace of God that he hadn't been waiting long.

All the same, Louis was impatiently tapping his foot with his arms crossed as he waited against the sleek black Mercedes Benz. Raphael took a moment to tense, awaiting, when Louis gave a low whistle and a sultry grin. 

"Lookin' too damn fine for this world!" Raphael felt the flush creep up his cheeks as he gave a small smile and ducked his head in slight embarrassment. Louis grabbed him by the back of his neck and hauled him for a kiss, one that had Raphael melting. 

"We need to get going," he said breathlessly as they pulled apart. Raphael was floored that he managed to have that kind of effect on his boyfriend. He nodded, equally as breathless, and moved to get in the car, casually linking fingers with Louis as he pulled out of the garage. 

It wasn't until they were ten minutes down the road when Raphael finally asked, "Where are we going exactly?" 

"A bar called Take Ten. Apparently the band that plays there on Friday's is supposed to be really good," he squeezed his hand. "Figured we could give it a go. We haven't been out in ages." It was true, that they hadn't been out in a while, mostly due to work related issues, or just simply the fact that Louis was too tired from the week to go out anywhere. Not that Raphael ever minded. He would much rather stay inside with his books, than do out to clubs or bars every night. He wasn't a fan of large crowds or loud music or large crowds dancing to loud music.

Needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised when he saw the building as they pulled into the parking lot. The building was average sized, nothing overwhelmingly large, with standard red brick. The only thing adding any life to the place was the florescent, glittering blue sign at the entrance of the bar. Raphael thought the glitter was a bit overkill, but it certainly got points for being attention grabbing.

Upon entering the establishment, Raphael was taken aback by the contemporary setting, despite the aging brick outside. To his left, was the simple mahogany bar, the back wall filled in every space with all kinds of alcohol. To his right, was the stage, where he could just vaguely make out the band, at least he presumed that was the band, setting up for their later showing. Unique rectangle light fixtures cast a dim glow, and the center was filled with tan couches and dark tables. Despite it's contemporary look, Raphael felt the homey aura that was wrapped around the place. He was beginning to realize why this place was so popular. People felt at ease here, he could tell. 

Louis grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bar area. They managed to squeeze their way to the front, where the pretty, tall bartender, whose name-tag read 'Cassidy' told them she'd be "just a minute". Raphael didn't mind. He took another moment to take in the sights and sounds. He could hear people laughing and chattering about their week, and the crazy antics their colleagues pulled. He could hear the people on stage tinkering with the equipment, making sure everything would run smoothly before the showing began. There was something so mundane, yet so exquisite about the whole scene that he almost wished he had his camera to capture the moment. 

He was pulled back to reality by his boyfriend nudging him lightly. "You want anything?" 

"I'll just have a water, if that's okay," he said without really thinking about it. The bartender gave a weird look, not that Raphael could blame her. What person goes to a bar without getting any sort of alcoholic drink? 

"Are you serious?" Louis scoffed, and Raphael thought he detected a warning note in his voice, and he fought a wince. He should have clarified. 

"I'll have something later," he pushed as much sincerity into his voice as he could muster. He knew that if he ordered a beverage, then he'd be forced to choke it down. The problem with going to bars and clubs, was that Raphael wasn't particularly fond of drinking. He knew what alcohol does to a person, and he vowed to never become that. Ever. But Louis liked to frequent bars and clubs, and Raphael was, more often than not, his plus one, which left him no choice but to nurse the same beer for the whole night, while pretending it was a different bottle. 

"Fine," Louis rolled his eyes. "One water," was he sneering? "And one Guinness." 

The bartender narrowed her blue eyes; her gaze shifting from Raphael to Louis and back to Raphael. It was almost as if she was trying to fit together a puzzle, but the pieces weren't quite matching up the way she'd like. Raphael could hardly bring himself to meet her scrutinizing stare. "Of course. Anything else?" Her tone was icy, though Raphael couldn't understand why. 

"This place have food?" Louis asked, seemingly unaffected by her glare. 

"Only the best bar food in Brooklyn," she clipped as she irritably tapped her pen against the wood countertop. 

"Well can I see a menu?" He spoke slowly, as if he was talking to a four year old.

Cassidy must have picked up on his tone too, for she huffed, "I'm only the bartender, buddy. Go pick a table. You'll find menus there." With that, she turned on her heel to help her next customer. Raphael watched as Louis expression turned sour and his mouth hardened into a thin line. He cast one last glare towards Cassidy before grabbing Raphael by the arm roughly and lugging him to the closest open table. He sat down on the stool across from Louis gingerly ignoring the urge to rub away the soreness from where his nails dug in, knowing full well that he would be sporting bruises tomorrow. 

"Talk about excellent customer service," his boyfriend mumbled as he slumped in his chair. "What a bitch. 

"She is only the bartender," Raphael reasoned before he could stop himself. Louis jerked his head up to glare at him. 

"What?" He hissed. 

"N-nothing. I just mean that- um- she must have a difficult time dealing with all those people in bar area," he tried to recover, but it was no use. Louis face turned thunderous while he crossed his arms, looking absolutely lethal. 

"Why don't you just go get our damn drinks yea?" His tone was calm, but Raphael knew better. It was the calm before the storm. He scampered off his stool, nearly knocking it over in his haste, and back to the bar where he was just moment ago. 

"I was about to say, y'all forgot your drinks." Cassidy was pushing a cup of ice water and a dark lager towards him. The area, which was crowded before, seemed to thin out. He looked around at the vacant spots that were filled just mere minutes ago and quirked an eyebrow. She smiled warmly, her sharp features softening. 

"They're heading back to the main area to get ready for the band, as you should be doing. Seats go quick around here," she chuckled as she began wiping down the countertop. 

"Thank you," he said quietly, "for the drinks. How much do I-" He started for his wallet, but Cassidy waved her hand. 

"Don't worry about it. On the house." 

"What?" He asked dumbly, staring at her like she had grown three more heads and her hair turned blue. There was a strange look on her face, one that Raphael couldn't pinpoint. 

"Go enjoy the show, kid," she shooed him away. Raphael fumed a little at being called 'kid', when she couldn't have been that much older than he. 

And he pretended not to hear her say, "because you need it". 

Louis rolled his eyes at him when he returned. "Jesus what took you so long? Were you flirting with her or something?" 

Raphael reared back as if he had been struck. "Of course not!" He nearly shouted, before taking a breath. Now was not the time to cause a scene. He just silently pushed his Guinness, reaching out to squeeze Louis hand in reassurance. He knew how insecure Louis could be, despite all the times Raphael told him he was it. Louis gave a please smile, lifting Raphael's hand to brush his lips against the back of his hand. He nodded in the direction of the band as they assumed their positions on stage, and Raphael turned his attention to the performers without letting go of Louis hand. 

A boy with thick rimmed glasses and a guitar strapped across his shoulder tapped the mic. A few girls in the front let out a screech that could only be described as excitement. It was ridiculous and loud, but the boy on stage laughed anyway. "Testing. Testing. Sound check. Testing. Yea this thing sounds good." The girls screamed again. If they kept that up the whole night, Raphael was going to leave this place with a nasty headache. 

"Alright! How is everyone doing to tonight!" Instead of the obnoxious girls in the front, the whole place filled with the hoops and hollers of the people, holding up their drinks in celebration. The boy laughed again. 

"We are In the Downworld," more hollering sounded, "and welcome to Unwind Friday!" He yelled into the mic. Everyone cheers and clapped, but Raphael's eyes were trained the the guitar-wielding boy. His hair was a light brown wavy mop on his head, and from where he was sitting, he would see the warmth and the life in his honey-brown eyes; completely contrasted with his own dark hair and eyes. The boy was wearing an ashen blue button-up, rolled at the sleeves, with blue skinny jeans and black converse. Raphael could see the well toned muscles shifting beneath his shirt. 

"Okay, okay. Now before we get started, I would like to dedicate this song to the lovely lady in the back. She is the only one for me," he grinned wickedly as he gazed to the back. Cassidy scoffed so loudly that Raphael could hear her. 

"In your dreams, Lewis!" She yelled back, but there was a smile in her voice. The boy-Lewis?- gave a laugh. The stage lights created a ethereal glow around him as he shook his head, the waves flying. 

"Don't worry fellas. She's not off the market... yet," he said through his giggles, and the crowd laughed with him. 

"In all seriousness, this first song is only a cover. Figured we start the night off with something easy. Enjoy our version of "Cassidy" by Brett Dennen." 

And Raphael's heart nearly stopped at the melodic voice that came from speakers. 

_Cassidy, there's reggae music playing on the beach._

_Blue moon tonight and there isn't a cloud in the sky_

_Grab your swiss army knife and the blanket meet me outside_

_Yeah, come on_

_Cassidy, the things I lean on are slippery_

_But I know I love you_

_And you make is so hard to leave_

_But I'll keep loving you til I'm only a memory_

_We spend our whole lives moving on_

_Reaching out with loving arms_

_The night is young come out with me_

_Cassidy, with the ocean in your hair  
_

_Come out with me_

_Cassidy!_

_I'll be tangled up tonight but tomorrow_

_I'll be up in the air_

**Author's Note:**

> Screaming the name of a foreigner's god
> 
> The purest expression of grief


End file.
